On Friday, October 13th I left work at 2:00 pm and headed for Redding to be part of the wedding celebration of my good friend Diane and her best friend Ross. It being a Friday, I had a load of “financial” errands to run before I could actually leave Sacramento – nothing went as it should but I had allowed for that and so still found myself pointed north on highway 5 at 3:30 and, with the help of MapQuest and a Taco Bell lunch I was on schedule and feeling pretty cocky. I had nearly a full tank and so planned to drive straight through – it was just me and the open road. Well, maybe the road was a little too open because driving through Corning I ended up meeting a CHP officer – and if you’ve read this blog before then you know I’d rather have my pinky toe amputated than meet a law enforcement person of any kind, for any reason, ever. He peeled me out of a pack of at least 11 cars hitting his lights behind me and setting off a litany of “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God” in my head. How I got from the fast lane to the shoulder is a blur. As he emerged from his vehicle and strode towards mine I couldn’t help but notice that he was elderly for a CHP officer. I was scared to death and by the time he arrived at my window, I could have been mistaken for a repentant four year old. He casually rested his arm on my car window, inquired if I knew why I was being pulled over and politely told me I was going 87 in a 70. Then he asked for my license at which point I looked him straight in the eye and said that I don’t have one, am not supposed to be driving and it’s not my car. He literally dropped his head onto his arm and gave an audible sigh of disappointment – something my Dad would do! He asked me where I was going and why then he went back to his vehicle to “look” me up …….. and I started chewing my index finger. I knew I wasn’t in jeopardy but that the car was. Not having a driver’s license or insurance the law states the car gets impounded for a mandatory 30 days. So as I watched him in my rearview mirror the “Oh my God” litany is replaced by my brain clicking at full speed to figure out what direction I should walk in, who I would call, how I’d carry all my stuff, what I would tell my son about his car and doing the math to figure out how I would afford to get the car out of impound. When the officer arrived back at my window I fully expected him to ask me to “step out of the vehicle” – he didn’t – instead he gave me a ticket for driving with an expired license and speeding. It was clearly a gift and tears of relief welled up and I think we were both a little embarrassed by that. He told me I was a “nice” person – well, he just met me – and honest and that “we all need a little break once in awhile” and that I should go and have a good time at my friend’s wedding and a nice weekend.
I learned a couple of things …. One, not all law enforcement officers are assholes. Some of them really are “peace” officers there to try to help you. Two, some blessings come in disguise. Who would have ever thought I would look at a speeding ticket as a blessing?
I was born on a Friday the 13th and it’s always been a lucky day for me. This one was no exception.
My lessons had a price though and made me a half hour late getting to Redding and when I arrived I found myself in the middle of Redding’s version of Sturgis. Surprise, surprise! Motorcycles everywhere! All the main roads were blocked off for a parade of motorcycles making my MapQuest map now utterly useless. I drove around town for about 30 minutes before I was finally able to figure out a way to my destination. Feeling as triumphant as the survivors of the Donner party arriving in California, I parked the car to go inside only to discover all the entrances locked. Not exactly giving up but definitely giving in to the events of the afternoon, I decided to sit in the parking lot and wait for everyone to come out. Which eventually happened and we all rolled on to the rehearsal dinner. Within about 30 minutes I’d had enough pizza, drank enough beer and laughed enough to be sufficiently comfortable, glad I came and felt ready to have a good time. The rehearsal dinner was fun and sad and poignant and in what seemed a really short time we were all headed over to the Best Western to bed down.
That night the bride and her "maids" all shared a hotel room. Despite being exhausted emotionally and physically I enjoyed the girl talk and giggling, some trying on of jewelry and make up and other girly pursuits before finally hitting the sack where I'm sure I snored. Waking up to the smell of cinnamon rolls, a couple of us, still in pajamas and unbrushed teeth, headed to the continental breakfast. Yes, people stared and scowled their disapproval at the grown women who should know better showing up in pajamas – well, they can ALL go pound sand – we’re bridesmaids in dire need of coffee so GET OUT OF OUR WAY. We took our sweet time making our plates and coffee despite their hot and disapproving stares and, giggling like teenagers, we eventually headed back to the room to lounge around for another hour before THE BIG DAY actually got underway.
We showered and put our PJs back on and went to meet our metamorphosis from caterpillars to beautiful butterflies head on. With full stomachs and freshly washed hair we surrendered ourselves to the beauticians and were, one at a time, transformed. I know I haven’t worn that much make up since I was in the 3rd grade and dressed up as “Jeannie” for Halloween BUT the end result of the makeup and my hair doing an imitation of Brigitte Bardot’s made me feel prettier than I have in a very long time. As incongruous as it all looked in pajamas it made perfect sense once we were all dressed, coiffed and ready to go.
Transportation to the wedding was clearly a challenge and feeling the bride was being pressured to answer too many questions about what to do, I got a little bossy, swathed the inside of my car with sheets I lifted from the hotel and installed Diane in my backseat. Me and another of her bridesmaids jumped in and we took off headed for the Turtle Bay Exploration Park – the wedding site. Magically, once the bride was gone, everyone else figured out how to get themselves into cars and get there. Gee whiz!
After meeting the photographer, taking a look around and taking care of some last minute decorating and logistic issues we took pictures finally sequestering Diane in the exploration center -- along with the possums, birds and snakes -- just in time to miss the arrival of the groom and his crowd. Whew! It was a hurry up and wait situation with all of the bridesmaids taking turns keeping Diane occupied and making sure things were properly set up.
I was standing up above in the reception area looking down at the impromptu “altar” created by the backdrops Ross and crew had constructed earlier in the day and the gathering guests. Dusk was settling in and the tiny white lights in the illuminated backdrops were now evident and giving off a soft glow. The song “The Prayer” had just started playing and I was thinking of how transformed it all was when I had the feeling someone was standing behind me. I turned to find it was the photographer there to tell me it was time to go. A few minutes later we were lined up single file at the head of the walkway with our long stemmed flowers cradled in our left arm -- looking for all the world like a colorguard. I looked back at Diane, so pretty in her beautiful dress, and saw her face filled with expectation and focused down the walkway. I looked down the walkway to the glowing altar where Ross waited for her and understood and suddenly wished I had a tissue. The ceremony was chock full of funny and endearing moments as well as tender, tearful ones. It had its hitches but as far as I’m concerned it’s all the more memorable for those. Afterwards we all gathered in the reception area to toast the new couple, enjoy the food and each other's company.
Later that night after the toast and the cake, I journeyed home and reflected on what I’d just witnessed. I concluded that my favorite part of the ceremony, of the day in fact, was when Diane clearly affirmed her support of Ross by interrupting the ceremony and asking the minister(s) to “break down” a long tongue-twisting phrase in the vows that would have stumped anyone. Understanding that Ross would have tried it and failed, Diane cast aside any concern she might have had about propriety and with good humor and without damaging anyone’s ego, she turned the situation around and made it possible for Ross to succeed ...... and isn’t that kind of understanding and support a big part of what a successful and happy marriage is all about. In my experience marriage is definitely not for the faint of heart or weak in spirit and I feel confident that Ross and Diane will find their way to a happy marriage together.
:)
