In the 8th grade I was thrilled to finally fill out the jeans my Mom handed down to me from her 1960's diet pill body. I loved THOSE jeans. Size 5, lace up the back, huge bell bottoms that made me look a whole lot older and a whole lot hotter than I really was. Woot! Those jeans were good. The genes she's handing down to me lately? Not so good!
Last September the Blood Mobile made a scheduled stop where I work. I used to donate blood via the Blood Mobile where I worked back in the 90's. It's an easy thing to do and especially when it comes right to your front door. So I did what I always do when the blood mobile comes ... I signed up to donate blood.
I showed up at my assigned time and patiently waited for my turn while anxiously anticipating my donut reward and it's accompanying splash of oj. I handed the attendant my paperwork and she pricked my finger. The little dollop of blood sank and then floated just like it was supposed to. Hooray, I'm not anemic this time (that's stopped me from donating before so this was good news). Then she takes my blood pressure. She takes it again ... and then she takes it again before smiling at me sweetly and advising me that unfortunately I can't donate today because my blood pressure is too high. Hmmmmmmm. How high? 185/90. Holy Cow! I leave the blood mobile and find the first available phone to immediately find myself a primary care physician and make an appointment. Sure enough the blood mobile attendant was right. 189/95 was the reading at the doctor's office ... and life hasn't been the same since.
In the last three months I've gained a general physician and a cardiologist, had an echo cardiogram and a bubble test (another type of echocardiogram). Found out I'm hypertensive and have been put on two kinds of meds ... one to slow down my pulse (which was a whopping 109) and one to control my pressure. Both doctors have basically told me that I'm super lucky I didn't stroke out and find out about my hypertension while learning how to talk again. I'll tell you what, hypertension earns its reputation as "the silent killer" because I felt fine and had no idea there was a problem. Unfair too as I've never had much of a relationship with a salt shaker! Thank goodness I went to give blood because, in the long run, I've also found out that I have an "atrial septal bounce related to a foramen patent ovule" (basically a flap in my heart between the chambers that should stay closed but doesn't and causes a funny blip in my heart beat). I am my mother's daughter after all! Insert 4-letter word here. The upside is that I've lost about 12 pounds. The first 7 was a veritable ocean of water that made it's exit within the first 48 hours. Seriously!! Things have calmed down considerably now. I'm taking my meds and I can tell you how much sodium is in just about anything --- and geez, beware because everything contains copious amounts of sodium. I'm still learning how to make my choices and include the things I really want (omg I love cheese) without blowing my total daily number. I'm getting the hang of it pretty good now. I had another visit with the cardiologist the other day and it looks like the thing is nicely under control. Good news that! While I was there I asked him if the numbness I've been having in my feet lately might be a side effect of my new drug habit. Long pause from him and long story short ... probably not. He handed me a lab slip for a glucose test. Insert another 4-letter word here! Mom I love the "good skin" gene you gave me but if you were here right now I'd choke you myself for handing down this gene! I told the doctor that if I have to give up sugar as well as salt I'm simply going to slit my wrists in a warm bath tub. Deadpan - he said he couldn't condone that. Funny guy huh! I'm curious. What does one eat when one can't have salt or sugar? Here's sincerely hoping I don't have to find out or I may just have to give up eating entirely!!
Oh! What a world! What a world! <$1 to the wicked witch>
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