On the edge of a percipice ... or ten

Still recovering from the onslaught that was the weekend of Championships and just now beginning to feel a bit normal. The week following Championships was fraught with professional and personal challenges … none of which killed me so they obviously made me stronger right? Hope springs eternal. The worst part of the week is La Petit Grenouille is ill … gravely ill … fingers are crossed that it’s not terminal but all indications seem to point in that direction. Sigh. Eating the elephant one bite at a time, The Frog is on the list of things to spend money on … but not today, and maybe not for awhile. Til then, I’ve borrowed my son’s car, put a new windshield on it and am driving gingerly until I can drive legally.


The big event of last weekend was Easter and I went to church on Sunday and managed not to burst into flames …. that alone is a media event. I reconnected with family and, in general, got a reality check on what’s most important to me in life. On Monday while driving to work, I briefly entertained the notion of accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior and what that might mean in my life …. I’ve always envied the peace that real Christians seem to have and of course I want that too, who wouldn’t … then I remembered Jesus is a time traveler and is likely just as befuddled by my challenges as I am. Sigh.

Rhetorical Question --- how did Christ die for my sins when I wouldn’t be born for another 2000 or so years? Couldn’t that mean by default that Christ died for OUR sins – even the ones yet to be committed. If you accept that, then wouldn’t it follow that we are going to succeed or fail (and btw be judged) as a group and not as individuals? Wouldn’t the golden rule and the Ten Commandments and judgment day make a lot more sense in that context? Could that be why we’re encouraged to take care of one another, to turn the other cheek, to judge not lest ye be judged, to cast not the first stone? I think we’re God’s grand experiment. A challenge to the angels … an affront of sorts in fact. I think the experiment of humankind will succeed or fail as a whole. Sorta’ puts a different spin on things don’t it? What I know is that I’m a tiny cog in this world and the only thing I can commit to is to bear my burdens in the noblest way I can, use my intellect to make the best decisions I’m capable of, help those I’m directly responsible for and to graciously take on additional burdens only when I can do so without losing myself in the process. In the meantime, God is a blip on my radar and, at this point, occupies a lot of my thought process. Still, I can’t help but wonder why it’s my job to seek him and not his to seek me. A topic for another day I guess.

In the meantime, I’ve started teaching for the spring band season … details (and length of stay) still to be worked out … and today, I’m going to finalize or abandon my apartment hunt. This is a HUGE event and I want to be very, very, very positive that I’m truly, truly, truly ready before I make a jump. Today will be a watershed day either way.

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