Argh!

It’s wet and rainy today and it would be nice to be home this morning curled up with a book and some raisin oatmeal. But I have bills and so I’m here, ever chasing the paycheck, surrounded by paper that I simply MUST find a way to shuffle onto someone else’s desk. Shuffle, shuffle, shuffle … and try to look important. I arrived at work today really happy and raring to go but there are contractors here doing tenant improvement work on one of the nearby suites … again … and they’ve been testing the fire alarm system this morning … again. This happens here a lot. There are many suites and tenant turn over is high so there is a constant parade of contractors conducting all manner of tenant improvement work … and, unhappily, fire alarm testing. One day we will have an actual fire here and simply all just burn to death in our color-coordinated, ergonomically correct office chairs because we’ve been trained to ignore the fire alarm. So about every 7 minutes or so since 8:00 this morning the eardrum shattering (and actually frightening) fire alarm has kicked on. Everytime it goes off it kicks my fight or flight instincts into high gear and I nearly jump out of my skin. It’s only 8:40 and I have already been replaced by an angry crouching tiger who is sitting at my desk ready to rip out the throat of anyone unlucky enough to darken the doorway. This is not a good thing <$1 to Martha’s Stewart’s evil doppleganger>. I now understand why people used to keep a bottle of whiskey hidden in their desk drawer. Down with political correctness – bring whiskey back to the workplace! I believe I will venture over to the lunchroom and chow down on some Tylenol in an attempt to avoid a life spent in prison for murder.