Walking FAILS as a sport ...

and it's NOT fun, it's just a mode of tranportation ... man's orginal transportation at that.

Stu asked me if I wanted to go walking with him last night.

My reply = Hell no, I’d rather chew tinfoil.

I hate walking. It's not fun, it's work. Like walking 1.5 miles each way to a bus stop for 4 months and dreaming of driving every second of it. Walking is a big negative experience to me. You walk when you miss the school bus, you walk when your car breaks down, you walk when your friend decides to stay at the party later than your curfew, etc. I've always hated walking. Walking is too much like a punishment. My hatred of walking is why I spend so much time driving in circles in retail parking lots.

Yet I’m willing to spend my summer weekends running around aimlessly on a football field and getting nowhere.

Walking is a by product of golf just like it is in drum corps. I like to golf almost as much as I like to march. Golf = Hit the ball as far away from you as you can then walk up to it and hit it again as far away from you as you can. Lather, rinse, repeat for about 350 yards where the whole endeavor finally disintegrates into a 20 minute game of marbles using a really big marble and dropping it into a hole.

There are times I can’t explain myself. This is just one more of those.

Last night the California Cool Kids got together to "Chop" ... to review and solidify what we think we know in preparation for the next DVD's imminent arrival from the "Wonderful World". I remembered far more than I thought I did and am now not nearly as worried about having a great outcome at DCA as I once was. Now I'm looking forward to the cheering crowd and I'm finding that all my concerns evolve around whether or not we make finals. Then again, that happens around this time every year so no worries!

Highlights …

I’ve signed on to teach at Elk Grove High School this year. Band camp starts the week of August 13 and I’m excited because I haven’t worked on a field show in about 30 years!!! This should be fun!

I’ve been tapped by a friend to write the parade routine for Ygnacio Valley High. This is a band I’ve always liked on the street so I feel a real responsibility to get it right for them and I’m looking forward to meeting them.

I’ll be working a couple of rehearsals with Del Oro High School on their weapons basics. I guess they got tired of hearing me whine into my tape recorder about their technique and are giving me the opportunity to fix it. Hooray!

So I have a couple of remaining weeks of relative couch potatodom and then I’ll start really burning my candle at both ends again and I’m looking forward to the challenge.

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Peace Descends ...

I’ve just finished paying my bills online and still have a little smidge of money in my pocket. I’m elated and as I sit at my desk sipping a latte, munching a muffin and taking stock of my life, I find that my glass is half full. There’s something positively rejuvenating in knowing that I have two complete days stretching out before me in which I can do anything at all or nothing at all … and it’s Friday the 13th so I shouldn’t be at all surprised that today is a very good day.

Tomorrow is Bastille Day and my Dad’s birthday. Growing up we always celebrated those two events in tandem and I’m thinking that I might journey to Napa tomorrow to the Domain Chandon where I’ll spread a blanket on the lawn, nibble on some bread and cheese, and do a bit of celebrating and reflecting with a bottle of Brut.

Happy Bastille Day!!

Blue Funk Emergence ...

Sounds like a rock band doesn't it?

I’m bored today but happily emerging from my blue funk that I’ve been in for the past few weeks. Ya’ gotta’ love those hormonal swings don’t ya’? At least I hope that’s what it is because I don’t think I’m capable of handling any real mental illness … but then isn’t that the whole point of a breakdown is not handling a mental illness? Anyway, it seems like menopause is lurking on my horizon and I don’t know whether to ward it off or welcome it with open arms. I miss my mom. She’d know what to do.

In the midst of my funk I’ve been training a new field office manager to start in August at my company’s St. Helena site. It’s been a very long month. Let me just sum it up by saying that training her is equivalent to having a vicious, salivating, Chihuahua chewing on the cuff of my pants everyday … except this Chihuahua has a voice less appealing than a dentist’s drill running at high speed. The upside is that I’ve earned quite a few accolades here at work and now enjoy a reputation as a saint with the patience of Job … the total antithesis of my usual reputation … and it’s because I’m the only one here not yet totally climbing the walls as a result of her presence but that’s only because I pray everyday that God won’t let me kill her. So far he’s interceded quite nicely but I hope August gets here soon.

Speaking of dogs … I think my dog Teddy may be going senile. Seriously. He’s about 10 and that translates to 70 in dog years. Prime time for Alzheimer’s in humans, right? I don’t know if it exists in the canine world, and maybe Teddy will be the first dog ever to get it, but he keeps straining at the leash and barking at strangers and he has NEVER barked at ANYONE, EVER. It started about a week ago and it’s the weirdest thing he’s ever done … well, outside of eating out of the cat’s litter box (mmm mmm good, Almond Roca for dogs, crunchy on the outside and chewy on the inside!). If he keeps this up I don’t know what I’ll do. It would be awful to put Grandpa down just because he has Alzheimer’s but it might be exactly what happens to Teddy in my wacky and wonderful world.

No big weekend plans. No big plans in general. Just a lot of puttering and fumbling around. I’m having a hard time finding my groove in this empty nest stage of my life and don’t feel like doing anything about it right now … or doing anything at all right now … and so, for right now, the plan is to have no plan and so I’ve given myself permission to do absolutely nothing at all guilt free. I think my groove will best be found by just hanging around the house ... for now.

Last night on TV there was yet another male comic making jokes about women and yeast infections. I’m tired to death of this as fodder for jokes. Women! Every chance you get, remind your men that those “yeast infections” that they bemoan and make so much fun of are identical to what they so happily carry around on their feet like a badge of courage and call “athlete’s foot”. Get over it already! Hmmm, maybe we should start calling it “athlete’s hoohoo”. Quick, who do we know at Webster’s?

The “kids” and their “girls” are coming over for dinner on Friday and I’m looking forward to them and all their fuss. I have the whole weekend to recover, right?

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What a Wonderful World - Part II

Wednesday we touched down in Minneapolis about 6 a.m. and headed to Matt and Jen’s house where Stu and I crashed like zombies until 2:00 pm! Later that evening the four of us went to fellow-Chopper Jess’ house where we ate spaghetti and pretended to work on parade hats for awhile before coming home to crash once again. Wednesday was really all about sleep and getting on the Minnesota clock.

Thursday was about rehearsal. Stubert and I did a bit of rehearsing on our own with brooms and dust mops before the real thing that night with the full corps. By the end of Thursday night I was thinking I’d bitten off far more than I could chew.

Friday was a free day and Matt (best host in the wonderful world) took us to the Mall of America where we met up with some fellow choppers and did the roller coasters and the log ride. Jen caught up with us later in the day, we did the roller coaster three more times (and I lost my voice from screaming … what a break for everyone else right!) did a bit of necessary shopping for costume bits and then had dinner at “Bubba Gump’s”. It was a very good day.

Saturday = SHOW DAY! It began with a 5-hour rehearsal block. Funny thing about those rehearsals, they’re a LOT like Renegade rehearsals. It’s hot, you sweat, you run, you cry about water breaks, you learn yo’ shyte … and then you go put your costume on and do it for the crowd. The crowd was enormous! And so appreciative of the folks on the field. I will say unabashedly I’ve NEVER received a reception like that from a California crowd.

After our performance we went back and cruised the souvie booths, said HI to a few Cali friends and then watched Madison and Santa Clara’s performances. Ok … it’s not a popular opinion but it’s mine. I like Madison’s show. Sure, it’s competitively vulnerable in spots but I like the way the show starts the moment you see them, their guard is a lot of fun to watch and there’s some drill moments near the end that will be really exciting once they’re clean. I loved, loved, loved Santa Clara’s show and, if I’d had my voice I’d have sure let it be known. When the hornline went down on both knees my heart started to pound and then there it was! Four counts of the bottle dance! Woot! And it was thrilling to see them outside of California and in the competitive thick of drum corps. It brought back some good memories. 1st or 7th or whatever at DCI, this is a stellar year for SCV and I’m happy to see it happen.

Saturday night we went to the legendary “Patrick’s” – the self-proclaimed only drum corps bar in the world. The walls at “Patrick’s” are lined with pictures of VFW-era Midwest corps and the menu boasts pizzas named after “The Cavaliers”, “Chops” and the “Governaires” … and the margaritas are positively slamming. Ok, so I got a little snockered. It was a good time and a great chance to get to know some of the Choppers a little better. They are some very cool people and I really appreciate how they’ve welcomed us so completely into their family.

Sunday = SHOW DAY! It was a repeat of Saturday except that as soon as we got off the field we had to head for the airport. So the corps circled up and sang the corps song and bid us farewell and safe journey. I’ll admit, they got to me and I’m looking forward to our next trip in SIX WEEKS. That seems such a long way away.

Highlights …

The Mall of America (aka MOA) is a really neat place. There’s one of everything and two of some things. It’s 4-stories tall and is equivalent to about three good-sized California malls and has what equates to a small Six Flags amusement park inside of it. It’s definitely an all day event.

We performed in front of the biggest crowds I’ve ever seen at a drum corps show outside of prelims and finals. The size of the audience at both shows was overwhelming but was still nothing compared to their unbridled enthusiasm. A totally different vibe than what I’ve ever felt in an early season California show. What a great reception they gave us.

While we were hanging out in the parking lot after rehearsal on Thursday night, I realized that my Vanguard star had fallen off my jacket somewhere out on the field. It was nearly 10:00 at night and the field was now black. Despite the odds, Stu and a couple of Choppers walked the field with me to look for it but it was just too dark to find it. A quiet, yet ultimately effective, APB was put out on the star and on Saturday morning it was handed back to me. Some of the members had gone back to the field on Friday morning to find it. Eureka! And I still find it hard to believe that they went to so much trouble to make sure I got it back. It’s just another example of how generous and welcoming these folks are to the cool California kids.

Minnesota’s harsh winters make for an interesting water slide ride somewhere near the airport. The entirely enclosed waterway tubes travel outside a hotel but the entrances and exits are safely tucked indoors. It’s a constant source of interest for Stu and I and we stare entranced everytime we drive by it. I’m thinking we’ll have to break down and ride it one day.

I now believe that being in a senior corps in California is like existing in a plastic bubble. Sadly when you’re in that bubble all you really have to keep you going is what you read on DCP and your own hype. The trouble with DCP is that it’s nothing but conjecture because until everyone hits the same field on the same day with the same judges it all means nothing … and it’s never been much of an indicator of the true outcome of events (or I would have a DCA medal around my neck by now). The trouble with hype … well its hype. I’m excited to be outside the bubble for now and I can’t help but feel lucky to have this unique opportunity to see things from the outside looking in.

I’ve now been to the Valley of the Jolly Green Giant! I didn’t know it was real but it is. It’s located in the town of Blue Earth near Le Seuer (and I think he has some peas named after that town). It was little kid thrilling to see the big Jolly Green Giant sign.

I’ve discovered why so many people from other corps are quick to make cutting comments about Minnesota Brass members … point blank, they are an arrogant bunch. I’ve been arrogant in the past, as has my bunch, but I was an ignorant teenager at the time and at least had something to be arrogant about. These guys … mmmm, not so much. Yeah, I said it … you know what they say about opinions … this one is mine.

I vandalized something for the first time ever … No worries, it’ll wipe right off. Related to the paragraph above? Positively! Regretful? Absolutely! I regret that I had to leave for the airport and didn’t get to see him find it.

All in all it was a good trip. And while I find myself all the time saying “I can’t believe I’m doing this”, I’m truly glad that I am. Thanks Stubert!

Thought for the day ...

Evidence that God really does have a warped sense of humor ... the platypus

Oh, I'm leaving on a jet plane ...

... <$1 to composer John Denver>

If you’re in the Midwest in the wee hours of Wednesday and you feel a disturbance in the force, don’t worry … it’s just Stu and I flying overhead about to drop into Minnesota for another weekend of drum corps insanity. We’re leaving on the red eye Wednesday morning and will arrive in the land of 10,000 lakes around 6:00 am or so. We have all of Wednesday and Thursday to do whatever we want so who knows what random chaos will ensue. Wednesday’s tentative, yet wacky, plan is to find and conquer the Mall of America … and yeah, that excites the 15 year old slice of me … I’m jazzed. We have rehearsal on Thursday night where I expect we’ll learn new work and/or drill and there may be a guard rehearsal on Friday especially for Stu and me to get caught up a bit ... maybe caught up enough to actually perform in a show this weekend. Stu and I worked together last Friday night and, thanks to the DVD Matt Kilinowski (superb host and videographer extraordinaire) sent us, I’ve been making gouges in my living room ceiling ever since (guard geeks you know what I mean). A big shout out and a hug to Matt and to David (Tiger Beat cover boy who performed the work on the CD for us). Thanks guys. You totally rock! So now I’m feeling ready to absorb some new stuff and will be packing a lot of Advil so I can make it happen.

Speaking of packing, I’m NOT listening to anyone who has lived in MN, driven through MN or had a third cousin twice removed who says the weather is “whatever” in MN at this time of year … I’m packing for HOT rehearsals and cold nights. Date u beddy much!

Highlights …
I still need shoes
I still need gloves
I came up with a costume that I didn’t have to sew it … whee!
I’ll be leaving on this little “tour” with about $20 in my pocket (and I have to laugh about how some things about me will just never change) … eh, maybe that’s a good thing … and hey, at least I’m consistent!!!

In the meantime, nothing flies without fuel … so see you drinking beer at the airport!


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The ReneReview ...

As submitted to DCW ...


San Francisco Renegades Drum and Bugle Corps -- “Dusk to Dawn”
There was a palpable energy surge in the stands as the San Francisco Renegades took the field. The crowd was clearly anxious to see what the Renegades would do this year to push the envelope once more and entertain the audience. The Renegades didn’t disappoint. The show opened with a central levitating coffin from which their vampire drum major, Mistress Kelli, emerged setting the tone for the show. Using a mix of some now familiar Renegade tunes smartly blended with a taste of something new, the Renegades gave their interpretation of what evil lurks between dusk and dawn. The choice of “My Immortal” as their ballad proved a stroke of genius. Its closing solo, played to the backfield by Rich Duarte, was the most touching and poignant moment of their show. Moments of brilliance were evident in the colorguard and it looks to be the most talented colorguard the Renegades have fielded in their existence. Bravo! The San Francisco Renegades seemed to have had their strongest early-season performance in their history and this can only bode well for them as they head into DCA. The marketing juggernaut known as the San Francisco Renegades is clearly poised to once again show us all that “Loud is Good” and “Drum Corps is Evil”.


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Closure ... It's a Good Thing ...

So my senior corps life (aka my second childhood) came full circle on Sunday night ....

I was at work one day in June of 2001 just minding my own business when the company president walked into my office and handed me an envelope containing 6 VIP passes he had to the “Moonlight Classic” that night. He knew a little bit about my drum corps geekiness because he was my boss in 1997 when I marched in the SCV alumni corps. As a Stockton business leader, he’d gotten roped into buying a spot in the Moonlight Classic program and, as a result, had these tickets he didn’t know what to do with and thought of me (and I’ve been to a lot of Raiders football games on that same dime by the way so I’m not complaining). Anyway, I took the tickets and we went and that’s where I discovered the existence of the San Francisco Renegades. I clearly remember standing up in my bleacher seat and screaming down at my husband Fred, over the really LOUD Renegades, that I didn’t care how far I had to drive, I was gonna’ do THIS. For the record, I was hooked by Mambo. Anaheim played it in the 70’s and I’m a HUGE Anaheim fan. So, there I was at my first Moonlight Classic since 1976 and I’ve been there every year since making this past Sunday my 7th Moonlight Classic in a row.

This year I went so I could write a contest review for Drum Corps World. Imagine that. I’m writing a contest review for Drum Corps World … well and who knows … it may end up in the editor’s trash can … but I wrote it and it was a lot harder to do than I’d thought it would be.

While I was at the show I saw friends made when I marched SCV in the 70s, friends made when I marched the SCV alumni corps in the 90s, kids I taught in high school band now taking their own shot at drum corps and a gang of Renegades that I know well and like … well, and some that I tolerate ... and I couldn’t help but notice how being a Renegade has permanently expanded my drum corps experience … from performing, to teaching, to judging to now taking a stab at writing a contest review. These are all things that wouldn’t have happened had I never been a Renegade.

Highlights …
I was surprised by the number of Renegades I’d marched with and considered good friends who walked by me and pretended they didn’t know me when they saw me … hmmm … I guess we weren’t really friends after all.

I was surprised by the number of Renegades I’d marched with and barely knew who went out of their way to say “hi” or give me a hug … hmmm … funny how situations like this tell you who your friends really are.

I was surprised that the Renegades did not tug at my heartstrings when they performed and surprised that I didn’t go all wet and nostalgic and miss being on the field with them … hmmm … surprise, surprise … I thought this would be really hard. I guess it means I left when I was ready to.

I was surprised that the Vanguard did tug on my heartstrings and that I got a little verklempt when the announcer said “from Santa Clara California, the Santa Clara Vanguard”. I guess it means I left before I was ready to (but I apparently learned my lesson and made sure the next time).

Santa Clara beat Blue Devils!!!!

I’m glad I was there on the SCV/BD Alumni Corps “SCV” night. It’s funny how marching in the alumni corps in 1997 and 2002 has made all of those tunes so meaningful for me … and no big surprise … “Send in the Clowns” made me go all wet and nostalgic … good grief!

So my senior corps experience … well, at least in California … has come to and end with some really decent closure. I feel done. I feel good …… na na na na na na na <$1 to Joe>

Now it’s onto Minnesota and another drum corps chapter that is sure to stretch my drum corps horizons even further.

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Rock Star Moment ...

Look who made the cover of "Drum Corps World"

;)

lots of emails later ... here's a clearer picture

'Arr Matey ... a new pirate

About two weeks ago I got a new kitten. He’s a boy and is about 11 weeks old now. He’s sinewy, scraggly, orange …. and extraordinarily fast. I got him from Sara (Christo’s girlfriend) and I think he’ll be a good addition to our family o’ pirates.

Chris had been calling the kitten “Smalls” (as in “you’re killin’ me Smalls” from the movies) for several days before he finally brought him home. I had wanted to name him “Hollywood”, a name I thought would go with “Motown” (my other kitty’s name) but Chris had his heart set on “Smalls” so we compromised and decided to call him “Hollywood Smalls”. Sounds like a mobster or a porn star huh? Somewhere in the second week I developed a tendency to call him “Mort” and I have absolutely no clue why. Maybe Mort is his real name and his nickname is Hollywood Smalls. I dunno’.

For the first week Motown ignored Smalls completely. Now, two weeks later, Mo and Smalls have an agreed upon indoor race track on which they chase each other between the hours of 3am and 4am daily (to my great dismay and often peril). I’ve had to start closing my bedroom door at night to avoid becoming road kill. It’s simply defies science that a grand total of 3 pounds of cat can make so much noise.

Teddy the dog is adjusting but he still does his best to simply blend into the carpeting when either cat enters the room. The collage of puncture wounds and scratches on my legs make me wish I was beige too and could just blend into the carpet with him.

Oh … and we’ve recently started calling the kitties Motown and Smalltown …

Yo ho ho and a bottle o’ rum

L'adieu à la Grenouille

Soupir.

La grenouille a été vendue à un homme nommé Franc. Il a promis de prendre le bon soin de lui.

J'ai perdu un bon ami.

Adieu mon ami.


:(

What a Wonderful World - Part I

I've always wanted to be an import ... and now I've actually done it. Another drum corps dream realized.

I needed Monday to sleep walk and recover from the weekend … and now I’m ready for a brief synopsis.

We boarded the plane just before midnight and I was excited to see the flight was only about 30% full with tons of open seats. As soon as the seat belt sign went off, I jumped up and claimed an entire row of 3 all for myself. Knowing Saturday would be a jam-packed physical and emotional day, I made a point of going right to sleep …….. for all of 25 minutes ……. at which point I woke up with the internal temperature of an iceberg. In fact, I think I woke up just in the nick of time to save my nose from breaking off completely like an icicle off a barn roof. After that I really couldn’t sleep at all and my main pastime became avoiding hypothermia and cursing myself for checking the bag that contained my jacket. We arrived in Minnesota about 6:00 am (thank God for warm airports) where we were greeted by Matt Kilinowski. We made a quick stop at his place to change into rehearsal clothes and pick up his darling wife Jen (who reminds me a lot of my son Kevin’s girlfriend btw), and then, fueled by Mickey D’s and a cat-nap in the car we hit the field. For any ‘gades who read this … if you think you feel like a rock star going to DCA, try showing up at someone else’s rehearsal for maximum rock star hype. Wow!

The first day was a 10-10 and it was hot. (I hate all of you people who told me Minnesota would still be cold at this time of year.) There was a lot to cover and it was really tough with no sleep so I just kept my eye on Stu and just tried to keep up with him. I had one near melt down when I found out that I’d spent two hours learning the wrong drill because I’d been given the wrong drill spot. That was more than compensated for by the surprising knowledge that I can throw a pretty effortless and decent four on saber … and yes, catch it and go on. Overall the day went well. Chops Inc. is a great group of people. They work hard but they know how to have a good time and, best of all, they don’t take themselves too seriously. They still recognize that this is supposed to be fun. For the most part, the guard is really young and, like any guard, there are varying degrees of ability. They’re a close group and remind me a lot of the Reneguard in ’02 in terms of how they work together and with the corps as a whole. The entire corps was universally warm and welcoming and I was continually impressed with how they went way out of their way to make us feel welcome and taken care of ... midwest hospitality?? I say this only because it surprised me … I don’t know that I’d expect as warm a reception from everyone if I were, oh say an Empire Statesmen, walking into a Renegade rehearsal. I think us California kids kind of hang back and wait to see what the new kid's got. It's the kids from God's country versus the Gods from kid's country if ya' know what I mean.

After rehearsal we were told we’d be staying at John Meyer’s (the corps founder) house near the rehearsal site. Turns out that practically the entire corps stayed there as well … and that’s the norm. Probably because, much like Renegades, most of them don’t live close to where they rehearse. That night was a great opportunity to make a few friends, watch some Chops DVDs and began to get some sense of Chops history through conversations with some of the members. I learned a little bit about “the circle” – to protect the minors certain activities are forbidden within “the circle” of the corps and it’s a rule that makes absolute sense IMO – and what’s expected of me as a Chopper. So … I hid my beer in a plastic coffee mug, took a dangerously hot shower, and someone made some fabulous Italian food that really hit the spot. Beer, a shower and good food was a guarantee that I was going to pass out from exhaustion standing up if I didn’t go to bed … so I did … and I don’t remember anything else until someone knocked on the door Sunday morning.

In true Renegade style, Stu and I were late to rehearsal. The only ones late to rehearsal. We represented well.

Sunday was a much easier rehearsal day. That’s 100% due to a decent amount of sleep and the fact that the weather was identical to Treasure Island the entire first half of the day. We put equipment work on drill and did many, many, many run throughs. By the end of Sunday we had drill for the opener, the production and the ballad with equipment work in spots. I was comfortable enough at that point that I would have been happy to do a show. At the end of the day, I still had the energy and enthusiasm for a few more run throughs and THAT has NEVER happened before.

Afterwards about a dozen or so of us gathered at Chipotle and I learned a bit more about some of the Choppers. Too soon it was time for Matt to take us to the airport and home. The flight was a lot more crowded but I slept regardless. I got home about 2:30 and hit the sack deciding not to think too far ahead to Monday and the real world until the alarm went off. I put myself to sleep doing run throughs in my head. I didn’t even make it through one.

So I’m off to a good start (and Stu was his typical Diva self … he’s such a sponge). I will confess that my anxiety level is a little high knowing that I won’t be going back for SIX weeks and knowing that I will always be in catch-up mode, but the trade off is worth it. It’s only a three weekend rehearsal commitment plus DCA and I still get to be on the 50 yard line in front of a couple thousand people doing my thing on Labor Day weekend. That leaves a lot of lifetime in between rehearsals to just enjoy the summer at home and if it means I have to duck in and out and do just parts of the show I’m so okay with that. I think this is going to be a really good adventure. I’m looking forward to making some terrific new friends and becoming a full-fledged Chopper when we return at the end of June … when Stubert and I will march our first show of the season !!

o o
O


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Minnesota Bound ...

I cannot believe I’m really doing this but here I go.

In approximately 24 hours, 36 pages of drill charts in hand (if not in my memory) and accompanying my good buddy Stu, I will board a plane bound for Minnesota to join Chops Inc. at their May camp. Up to this point the idea of marching Chops has been a bit surreal. Sort of wishful thinking. Now it’s suddenly staring me right between the eyes and is very real and just now … yeah, it figures … I’m realizing how truly unprepared I really am for this grand adventure.

Here’s hoping I don’t make a total ass of myself in the skills department.

Wish me luck … Stu doesn’t need any, he’s every Diva’s Diva.

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Sidebars galore ...

My Grandma used to say “I’m so T-U-R-D tired, that I could F-A-R-T faint”.

I’m so continually tired this last two weeks that I’m entertaining the notion that something may actually be wrong with me. I think my grandma’s little saying that’s been ping-ponging around in my brain for weeks has finally hit the “hey dummy, make a doctor’s appointment” button in my brain and is making it flash neon. I’m sure it’s probably just stress that’s worn me out but it’s time for a professional opinion. It’s the norm for me to deal with the current crisis and break down after the fact (almost like a reward - and truthfully I actually consider that a strength of sorts). So maybe it’s just that -- my body knows the current crisis is over and its break downing … damn it.

Sidebar: I've always been resentful of those people in my life who break down exactly when times get hard -- all I wanna' know is when do I get the luxury of a breakdown?

I feel like a little tin can that got dragged behind the “just married” sign for a couple of miles. Maybe I’m just getting old. Well, then again, I’ve always been “getting” old so maybe I’m just finally leaving the denial phase of getting old behind me and moving right on to the anger phase. Full alert! Anyway, I’m dragging so hard my butt’s leaving a trail everywhere I walk.

So I’m moved. I have my shiny little penny of an apartment (see model photo). Right now it looks nothing like the model because it’s filled with a ginormous couch and a series of brown cardboard boxes but sometime this weekend it will morph into a modelesque nest … and maybe then the cat will stop hiding under the bed. As I unpack boxes I’m finding surprisingly little in the way of necessary supplies. I didn’t realize that I’d left so much behind. For example, I had no towels. Not a one. No dishes, no glasses, no knives, no cookware and really no kitchen gadgets of any description. I ventured into Walmart for the most basic of supplies, but even after that little shopping adventure, my wish list remains longer than the line for the ladies room at the Super Bowl. The shopping is fun … the waiting to have the money to shop, eh, not so fun. I take comfort in the knowledge that building my nest over time will make it that much more special to me. Wow, there’s a new Hallmark card in that thought somewhere.

One of the bestest ever things about moving is that I have HBO and On-Demand back (and that makes me wanna’ do a happy dance), so I have tons of movies to catch up on up and plenty of time to do it in (and that makes me wanna’ do a happy dance too). I finally saw “The Devil Wears Prada” (which was eh, ok) and “The Lakehouse” (which I loved probably because I’m fascinated by the space/time continuum … well and Keanu Reeves is a little-bitta’-ok too).

Sidebar: I wonder if men like that really exist or if they’re just urban legends? I suppose if they did exist then songs like “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone” and “I Need a Hero” probably wouldn’t exist … it's not scientific but it's good enough for me and a thought-provoking topic for another day.

So I made a movie date with good buddy Stubert to watch “Running with Scissors” On-Demand and I’m really looking forward to that. I’ve already got popcorn and everything!

Sidebar: I adore having things to look forward to

Maybe I can get my obstacle course of brown cardboard boxes dealt with by then.


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On top o' the world ... or at least close

Today I have keys to a teeny tiny (postage stamp tiny) apartment. Getting here has been all consuming for the last 30 days but I’m here damn it and, as a consequence, today is a very good day and it’s the first day in a long series of days that I haven’t felt like it’s a dog-eat-dog world and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.

I nearly didn’t move into the new little apartment at all as three days ago my boss informed me that the company would like me to move down to a med center project in Santa Maria. It figures!!! I sit around for months and months with no place to be waiting for some life changing event to happen to me and it finally comes two weeks AFTER I’ve just signed away the next twelve months of my life. Oy Vey! I will miss the beach that I very nearly lived by but things happen for a reason and I trust that my guardian angels are doing their job with due diligence. So I will see you at Home Depot buying goodies to personalize my new postage stamp sized space (say that 10 times quickly) and wondering if lavender is a good color for a kitchen. Yes, that’s right, lavender.

Anyhoo ….

On the judging front I got some good news in the form of my first ever assignments for WBA. I’m excited! It’s a great opportunity for me to stretch my little judging wings in yet another circuit. Last weekend I judged a parade in San Jose for NCBA. Ewwwwww is my first impression of spring band season. Yuck is my second. Next Saturday I’ll be judging a parade in Stockton … and then moving my entire household. Thank goodness for good friends! The only true consolation for pulling double duty that day are the many margaritas we’re all sure to consume afterwards in celebration of Cinco de Mayo … or finishing the move, take your pick.

So once again I have a home base … a foundation … a fortress … a sanctuary … a place of respite from everything that has come before … a place to begin again … and I gotta’ say I’m feeling more than a little triumphant right now.

It's a good thing I have a sense of humor ...

I had the wildest dreams last night. At one point I was in a hay wagon with Fred and Alton and I was wearing a 1975 27th Lancers rifle uniform. Next I was taking the field as a 27 rifle with a big furry hat that didn’t fit right and I was screaming at everyone that they forgot to teach me the show! Suddenly I was transported to owning a toy store where my sales clerks had accidentally tagged everything at 69 cents and merchandise was flying out the door and I was losing money hand over fist, so I’m screaming at everyone not to sell ANOTHER SINGLE THING and simultaneously warding off a savagely angry, incredibly ugly, sore-encrusted, toothless, Asian woman accusing me of doing the D&D with her husband?!?!?!?!?!?!? What? Needless to say I woke up more tired than I was when I went to bed the night before. When I first woke up I just sat comatose on the edge of the bed for about 10 minutes. I think I might have actually been asleep with my eyes open. Yikes. Stress does really scary, scary things to the brain.

My outlook today is not at all helped by the fact that my feet are positively killing me. It’s so bad that I don’t even want to walk to the copier a mere 15 steps from my desk. It’s because yesterday I was in a particularly stylish mood and decided to sport 3” heels at work. Truly, I don’t know what possessed me. I might as well have stuffed my feet into the paper shredder beneath my desk. Today I’m wearing my favorite clogs and recovery is slow but imminent. As soon as I get home I’m shoving the 3” heels waaaaayyyy under the bed.

I went to lunch today on a quest for three things: gas (for the car, not me), a car wash (because it’s as close to a relaxing bubble bath as you can get in a lunch hour) and a Rodeo Burger (because they’re .99). I handily accomplished all three. Funny thing about the car wash ... there was no dryer ... so my car was still wet when I went through the BK drive through and the BK manager who handed me my Rodeo Burger asked me if it was raining ... despite the sunny, dry day we could both clearly see. I gaped at him for a solid 10 seconds without saying anything before taking the bag out of his hand and driving away thinking “Good grief! Now I know why you work at Burger King”. I then made like Greta Garbo and ate my lunch “alone” in my car. I needed the quiet time after the insane morning zoo that is my job. I was at a point where if one more person spoke to me I was going to tear off their arms and use them to beat them about the head and shoulders. Seriously, I sometimes feel that I’d accomplish just as much with a greater degree of success if I worked with toddlers or trained monkeys instead of this group of “professionals” I work with. I think I may have an inkling of understanding as to what causes people to “go postal” and I’m beginning to think that working here is smothering my spirit … if not killing it outright. The bottom of the totem pole is no place to be. Vent, vent, vent and exhale … that’s what the blog is for.
On my way back from lunch I noticed an oversized delivery van parked in the front of the building. It had the words “EMAIL”,
“PRINTING”, “FAXING” and … “FULFILLMENT” boldly emblazoned on its’ side. Hmmmm … what if “fulfillment” really was something you could get delivered to you out of an oversized delivery van? I know I’d place a big order … how about you?

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I knew it all along ...

You Communicate Like a Man

When you communicate, you like to get to the point. You're not afraid to say what's on your mind - and leave it at that. Talking about your emotions drains you. You rather keep them to yourself. You prefer solving problems to wallowing in your sorrows.

Do You Communicate Like a Man or a Woman?

Thought for the day ...

There's a one letter difference between the word HEROES and HERPES ....

Funny how what was once a grind ...

is now something to look forward to. I’ve opted to use my stash to make the leap to my own place. Neither the time or the place is exactly perfect (but what is) but it does suit 90% of my criteria, it’s a short 10 minutes from my front door to my desk chair and it’s happening before the pending eviction hits my credit report. All good things and I'm intermittently excited and panicked to death. The whole moving thing has elevated my stress level exponentially but I know that’s temporary … after all, there’s a lot of details to be attended to in a move and especially this one what with coordinating clearing out the storage, making sure the money is in the bank on time, figuring out how to get a Uhaul (without a license) and coordinating that with the boys days off so they’re available to move my enormous free-to-me-thanks-to-Stu couch to the second floor… just a lot to do … but once I’m in I know there will be an enormous sense of relief because then, no matter what happens car-wise, I know with a certainty that I can get to work. Since work is what makes the rest of my life possible, getting there has to be at the top of my list of priorities. Moving has the added bonus of getting Teddy the dog and Motown the cat back in my life too. They’ll be good company and together we’ll find the rut that is my normal life. I guess Dionne Warwick was right when she said “you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”.

Today is Friday the 13th … almost always a RED LETTER day for me in a good way so I’m looking forward to today being a good one.

Hope yours is too!

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On the edge of a percipice ... or ten

Still recovering from the onslaught that was the weekend of Championships and just now beginning to feel a bit normal. The week following Championships was fraught with professional and personal challenges … none of which killed me so they obviously made me stronger right? Hope springs eternal. The worst part of the week is La Petit Grenouille is ill … gravely ill … fingers are crossed that it’s not terminal but all indications seem to point in that direction. Sigh. Eating the elephant one bite at a time, The Frog is on the list of things to spend money on … but not today, and maybe not for awhile. Til then, I’ve borrowed my son’s car, put a new windshield on it and am driving gingerly until I can drive legally.


The big event of last weekend was Easter and I went to church on Sunday and managed not to burst into flames …. that alone is a media event. I reconnected with family and, in general, got a reality check on what’s most important to me in life. On Monday while driving to work, I briefly entertained the notion of accepting Jesus Christ as my personal savior and what that might mean in my life …. I’ve always envied the peace that real Christians seem to have and of course I want that too, who wouldn’t … then I remembered Jesus is a time traveler and is likely just as befuddled by my challenges as I am. Sigh.

Rhetorical Question --- how did Christ die for my sins when I wouldn’t be born for another 2000 or so years? Couldn’t that mean by default that Christ died for OUR sins – even the ones yet to be committed. If you accept that, then wouldn’t it follow that we are going to succeed or fail (and btw be judged) as a group and not as individuals? Wouldn’t the golden rule and the Ten Commandments and judgment day make a lot more sense in that context? Could that be why we’re encouraged to take care of one another, to turn the other cheek, to judge not lest ye be judged, to cast not the first stone? I think we’re God’s grand experiment. A challenge to the angels … an affront of sorts in fact. I think the experiment of humankind will succeed or fail as a whole. Sorta’ puts a different spin on things don’t it? What I know is that I’m a tiny cog in this world and the only thing I can commit to is to bear my burdens in the noblest way I can, use my intellect to make the best decisions I’m capable of, help those I’m directly responsible for and to graciously take on additional burdens only when I can do so without losing myself in the process. In the meantime, God is a blip on my radar and, at this point, occupies a lot of my thought process. Still, I can’t help but wonder why it’s my job to seek him and not his to seek me. A topic for another day I guess.

In the meantime, I’ve started teaching for the spring band season … details (and length of stay) still to be worked out … and today, I’m going to finalize or abandon my apartment hunt. This is a HUGE event and I want to be very, very, very positive that I’m truly, truly, truly ready before I make a jump. Today will be a watershed day either way.

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Ode to a Bunny ...

All the world shall be your enemy
Prince with a Thousand Enemies
and whenever they catch you
they will kill you
but first they must catch you
digger ... listener ... runner ... Prince with a swift warning
be cunning and full of tricks
and your people shall never be destroyed


- Watership Down -

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Championship Weekend

Championship weekend begins tonight.

There are three long shows to judge this weekend; Fresno on Friday, San Mateo on Saturday and San Jose on Sunday and while I’m thrilled for what they’re likely to do for my bank account I’m worried about having the energy to do it all as great as I want to do it.

Tonight I’m picking up my fellow MBoB Alton (that’s him in the picture circa 2002) from the airport and he’ll be my road dog throughout the weekend (and it’s good that I’ll have him to keep me awake through some of the more intense late night driving). We tried to convince Stu to go with his but he has an aversion to the 3-hour drive (wuss!). Personally, I think he just has a secret fear of frogs. So tomorrow at noon the road trip begins as Alton and I head down to Fresno for the first show. After the show we’ll be driving back to the bay area to connect with Stu (who will drive to the bay area but not RIDE to Fresno … sheesh) and our ace-coom-boom Diane and we’ll all get our hibernation on in a shared hotel room. Saturday morning Di, Alton and I get to sleep in while Stu journeys to San Mateo to judge the baby guards. We’ll catch up with him in the afternoon to judge the big kids and afterwards we’re all crashing at our friend Julie’s house for a “pajama party” (she’s the hostess with the mostest) where we’ll watch a lot of colorguard DVDs. I’m really looking forward to seeing Jules. On Sunday I’ll be the one that’s up and out early judging the baby guards (while everyone else sleeps in). Later in the day the remainder of the now enlarged entourage will catch up with me at the show and we’ll all watch the big guards together and alternately point and laugh, yawn and be completely inspired. There are many Reneguard alums planning to attend the show and I’m looking forward to reconnecting with most of them. Afterwards we’re all headed back to Julie’s to eat drink and be merry (for tomorrow may be scary). Somehow we will all make it back to Roseville on Sunday night/Monday morning where Alton has a 6 am flight out of Sac. Whew! And the weekend will be over. I hope I say all the right things into the tape recorder and write down all the right numbers. Mostly, I hope we have fun reconnecting. I hope we laugh a lot. I hope we take good memories of the 2007 season away with us.

Another season bites the dust this weekend and it sure went by quickly.

Real life begins again on April 2. Sigh. I hope I’m ready for it.

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Thought for the day ...

I think the standard wedding vows have outlived their usefulness. I think the words have become like the words to the “Pledge of Allegiance” or “Ring Around The Rosie” – we know them well but we don’t spend too much time thinking about the real meaning behind the words.

I think I’d like to hear vows that are meaningful in today’s world with less biblical mumbo jumbo and more plain talk. I think it should be simple, it should be real and if either partner can't, or won't, keep this covenant, then they shouldn't start something they can’t finish.

I promise to spend the rest of my life …

Making sure all your tears are tears of happiness
Sharing your accomplishments and your problems
Being proud of you
Working to make myself a better person so we’ll be a better couple
Always believing in you as well as believing you
Holding you with open arms and making my open arms a place you want to be
Working to ensure that my ego is never more important than yours
Accepting that sometimes you’ll be right and I’ll be wrong
Knowing that everyday will entail compromise and negotiation
Understanding that finding the good times is easy and that not letting the bad times tear us apart takes diligence
Keeping the faith in all ways

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If ...

I did a lot of driving this weekend, some of it on the outskirts of nowhere so I had a lot of trouble finding a palatable radio station … which wouldn’t have been hard at all if I spoke Spanish (or were I someone who used a used a sharpie to make eyebrows) … but anyhoo, I was randomly searching and happened on a pretty song I’d never heard before and so I stopped searching until about 3 minutes later the DJ came on and said “worship, you got that right, that’s what we’re here for”. At that point I realized it was a religious station and started pushing the search button again but for the remainder of the trip I could NOT get what that DJ said out of my head. What if he knows what he’s talking about? What if God created man simply for his own pleasure? What if our only purpose in life is to worship Him? What if that’s why it’s so difficult to find any sense in our existence? Maybe that’s why life is just a series of meaningless obstacles to overcome? What if that’s really ALL we’re here for. What if it’s really THAT simple? What if THAT should be the point of our day everyday? What if God is a childish, self-centered, a-hole just like the rest of us? Suddenly I feel about as important as a dust mote and for some strange reason the whole thing reminds me of a Mother Goose poem I learned as a child.

If all the world were apple pie,
And all the sea were ink,
And all the trees were bread and cheese,
What should we have for drink?

Last Wednesday I helped my son move into his new place. The first order of business was buying a mattress so he would have a bed. He told me he had a “twin size frame” in his new room (along with a dresser and a chair). Ok … a quick internet search helped me to quickly realize that a real mattress wasn’t in the budget so we opted for an Aerobed. We hit the Walmart and bought one in a twin size, along with all the bedding to go with it, a couple of pillows, a nightstand, a lamp, an area rug and some other essentials to get him homey in his new home … then we carried all that up 3 flights of stairs! Within one second of arriving in his new room I realized I’d be immediately going back to Walmart to exchange the bed. Ack! There was no “twin frame” in there! Instead there were 3 old mattresses all piled up on top of each other. Sigh. A couple of hours later I had made the trip to Walmart, sans receipt since Chris had lost it, and ended up not being able to return the twin bed and becoming the proud of owner of a full size Aerobed, a twin size Aerobed, a full size bed-in-a-bag as well as a matching twin size bed-in-a-bag. I love Walmart. I hate Walmart. I am soooo conflicted. Ah well. Now Chris has a full size bed at his house and I have a matching twin size bed at mine ... and the kid is settled in his new place and sleeping on four mattresses like something right out of the story about the Princess and the Pea. Sigh.

I hit the judging trifecta once again this weekend with an NCBA show in Benicia on Friday, a show in Modesto on Saturday morning and a show in San Jose on Saturday night. To make up for the hectic pace of Friday and Saturday I made Sunday leisurely. I left the bay area at 11:00, grabbed some eats in Cordelia and made my usual Dixon Walmart stop and reaching home around 3:00. I completed my weekend by going to Outback with my fellow Sacto guard geeks where my two-margarita dinner more than compensated for the intensity of the earlier part of the weekend. Tequila should be a food group.

Today I’m back at work toting that barge and lifting that bale and,thankfully, none the worse for wear really.

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I See One-Armed People ...

I’ve seen no less than 8 in the last five days … 4 of them on Saturday at the guard show … I think it’s my Dad trying to tell me something.

In my experience it’s not all that out of the ordinary to spot a person who is missing, or has lost, a leg – or two. Understandable since there’s birth defects, accidents, war, disease and all manner of causes to which people lose their legs, or the use of their legs and so it doesn’t seem unusual to me that I see, on average, 1-2 people a week challenged by this. I’m sure there are even more who are wearing a prosthesis and I just don’t notice (which is too bad because gaining use of a prosthetic anything takes a Herculean effort deserving of a standing ovation … but that’s a story for another day).

Conversely, in my experience it’s not all that ordinary to spot a person who is missing, or has lost, an arm – or two. I don’t know why that is, it just is. All the reasons for losing arms are pretty much the same as those for legs wouldn’t ya’ think? So why do I so see people missing an arm only about once every six months? In my view, more arms appear to be missing, or useless, due to birth defects than any of the other causes and I’m wondering if there isn’t some sort of taboo against removing them – as though doctors fight a bit harder to save an arm than they do a leg. It’s just an observation that’s in no way based on medical fact. Just a feeling I’ve got.

I think I notice missing limbs more than the average person because I grew up with a Dad who was born missing his left arm from just above the elbow. The way the story goes is that my Grandmother took a spill down the stairs in the latter part of her pregnancy that caused my Dad to turn and get twisted in the umbilical cord. Theoretically the cord wrapped around his left arm fiercely enough that it pinched off the circulation causing the limb to wither and fall off. I disagree with this theory. I think the umbilical cord is likely the cause but I think it probably happened early in the pregnancy rather than later because his little body struggled valiantly to keep growing the arm for when he was born he had five tiny little finger-stubs growing at the end of the stump that would be his left arm. Had he lost the arm in 7th month (as the story goes) there would not have been sufficient time for this “regeneration” to take place. I think it happened while the arm was forming initially. The umbilical cord also wrapped itself around his neck causing him to born a “blue” baby. That combined with his missing limb and the fact that his entire body was caved in and withered on the left side (later they would discover that the lung on his left side was hopelessly collapsed also) caused the doctors to “throw him to the end of the bed” (to quote my Grandmother) and set to work on her. It’s wondrous that he survived at all. It’s a credit to my Grandmother that her “crippled” child went literally from March of Dimes poster child to being his high school’s quarterback and an all-conference player, a nightclub entertainer and eventually an engineer. My Mom says the first thing my Dad did when he met me was count all my fingers and toes. I can only imagine his relief.


Last night as I was sitting in the pub at a table by a window sharing a pitcher of beer with my kids and talking about this exact personal phenomenon of seeing an inordinate number of one-armed people, a little dark-haired boy of about 5 came merrily skipping down the sidewalk right in front of the bar’s window … he was laughing as he hopped over the outside tables and having a great time being his own best buddy. As he hopped over the table directly in front of our window I was startled to notice he was missing his left arm from the elbow down ……………………… and I nearly spilled my beer in my lap.

You’ve got my attention Dad but I need another sign to figure out the message.



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76 Guards in 24 Hours .... can you spell overdose?

This looks a lot like a guard show to me. I first learned about this by watching a movie called "Under the Tuscan Sun" and was fascinated enough by it to look it up on the internet. Flag Throwers - Check it out


Weekend Happenings ...

Friday Night … Del Oro Show
Woodcreek = 1st Place Novice Guard

Saturday Afternoon … Granada Show
Franklin = 2nd Place Novice Guard

I wish either of them were going to Championships … I wish they both were. I think they would have kicked some serious booty. Ah well! I’m happy they both ended their seasons on such a high note.

On Friday night my friend Robert (another guard-geek-judging-type) and I carpooled to Fresno where we judged 43 color guards in a 6 hour span with only a 15-minute break to sustain us. Whew! Circuit Highpoint -- I love the Fresno circuit because they pay you before the show so you can leave the moment you’ve handed your last sheet in. Circuit Low point – the food wasn’t ready when the judges arrived so we starved for a couple of hours until the break. At the end of the show, we were hanging around chatting and waiting for a recap and I got blindsided by an instructor whose guard I tanked. I didn’t mean to tank them. It wasn’t an oversight. It wasn’t even a mistake. I just liked the other five guards better. I’m expecting an “accountability email” sometime today. After the show we drove to Tracy since we both had a show to judge in Livermore the next day. Tracy was an approximate halfway point and good choice. I was dead-dog tired by the time we got there (at about 2 a.m.) and the MicroTel chain is my new favorite motel choice. You get a LOT more for a few extra bucks …. safety and lack-of-foot-traffic being the primo motivating factors behind spending those few extra dollars.

Saturday morning I headed out bright and early to attend a meeting for all the folks judging at the Livermore and Granada shows. We talked at length about the meaning of the sheet criteria over Starbucks coffee. I know it clarified some things for me and I think it gave us all our best opportunity yet to apply the criteria in a more consistent manner between judges. All of those present have a championship slot so I think what we accomplished at this meeting will carry us over the remainder of the season and has positioned us to be really successful … and I’m excited about the jumpstart that gives us going into the next season.

Judging the Livermore show took an eternity … it was brutal … and I think that’s because we had mostly jr high and novice guards there, OR because I’m really sick, OR because I had just judged 44 guards the night before???? Generally, I enjoy judging the novice guards … I really do …. I think it’s where we judges have the biggest opportunity to make the most positive impact. I sincerely feel that if groups don’t grow that, to some degree, the judging community is responsible (for who else is there to help develop the beginning instructors). I love watching the kids get better and better with each season. Even so, judging that day was akin to having a terminal illness and I couldn’t wait to just keel over and die. Get the shovel already! Pay me and let me outta’ here. Sigh. After we were done at Livermore the three of us on the panel all headed over to the show at Granada to get another chance to watch the Open guards. I’m so glad we went. Watching as a spectator with another trusted colleague gave me the chance to review the overall production value of each guard. I took some notes and mentally filed some visual impressions and I feel pretty confident about my observations going into championships …. which is a mere two weeks away.

After the show Saturday night four of the judges gathered at Applebee’s (where we probably should have paid rent since we were there so long they finally had to ask us to leave) to compare notes and talk shop. My true-blue friend Di convinced me that we should stay in a hotel that night instead of braving the long drive to Roseville in the wee hours of the morning. I’m so glad she’s a tenacious chick … it took her four tries to convince me but she finally did. Thanks girlfriend!

Sunday morning Di and I parted ways over muffins and cheese biscuits around 10 a.m. and it took me ALL day to get home … I stopped at Walmart for some much deserved retail therapy and a long overdue pedicure then took myself to Davis where I lingered all afternoon with my son on his front porch finally arriving home in Roseville around 5:00 p.m. just in time to go to the Benedict’s house for a birthday celebration …. mmmm barbecue and birthday cake. What a relaxing day.

Highlights ...
As the season winds down I find myself counting my dollars down too. My earnings will go back to normal after 4/1 and I want to be sure that I’ve hit as many big ticket items as I can. Even though I’ll still have some important things to cover, I’ve shaken off and stomped a mudhole in the ass of most of the monkeys that were on my back … so … I feel good … da-da da-da da-da dut <$1 to Joe>.

My Visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Nest Building .....

I seriously miss my cat Motown . He has been my true friend through some really crummy times. He’s great about being dependent when I need him and independent when I don’t. For example, he knew I needed him pasted to my side through the summer of 2004 and the fall of 2006 and that the rest of the time he knew he was free to dominate the outdoors. He’s been a good companion when I needed him most. Currently he’s warming Kevin and Devon’s feet until I can find a new nest. I need him right now. I wonder if he could live under my desk at work. Sigh … I probably couldn’t get away with pretending he’s a paper weight right?

On the topic of a new nest, yesterday at lunch I moved the search forward by going to look at a place in downtown that claimed on the internet to be “cute” and “affordable”. These are important words! This was the third place I’ve looked at and I had high hopes. I wanted it to do “it” for me. It was in a great area but it was a bit too grimy and bohemian for me. Sigh. Everything and everyone looks good on paper I guess. It’s just as well … there were no pets allowed … which means I would have had to lie because Mo is coming with me … period. The true gating factor in an apartment will be whether or not my fabulous-free-to-me-thank-you-Stu enormous couch will fit in the living room.

Highlights …
I’m in the last few days of teaching colorguard this season and I’ve gotta’ say I’m relieved to a large degree. The Frankie’s skills and work ethic have gotten better and better this season resulting in them taking 5th in Novice at the Elk Grove show last weekend. The Woodies have gotten lazy and complacent and its’ taken a toll. They placed 4th last Saturday just a few points in front of the Frankies … ooh scary, scary, cemetery <$1 to Chris>. I slapped them around a bit the other night and we’ll see if that works for their performance this Friday night. I hope so. I’d like to see them end their winterguard season happily. They have 3 judges who’ve never seen them before so anything can happen. The Frankies’ last show is Saturday at Granada. They will have two judges who’ve never seen them before so I’m crossing my fingers for them. I’ve given them the “don’t worry about the scores” speech …. and this time I mean it. I just want them to end their season feeling triumphant. Believe me; many people (including me) are surprised to see them still on the floor. I’m proud of the tenacity some of them have shown and, in support of everything they’ve done and to back up what I’ve told them, I bought this package of little plastic gold medals that say “winner” on them and I gave one to each of them last night to wear for their final run through. Hokey maybe, but I think they enjoyed the recognition.

I have a Fresno Friday this week followed by an NCBA gig in Livermore and I’m finding myself actually looking forward to the weekend …. go figure!

AND NOW .... DRUM ROLL PLEASE AND SOUND THE TRUMPETS
As of tonight at midnight (when my direct deposit hits) ALL, count 'em ALL, of my pay day advance loans will be a distant memory. Hooray for my side! Thanks Stubert!! I couldn't have done it if I wasn't being your roomie.

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Updates, Updates, Updates .....

The last weekend was really busy …. Friday night in Fresno, Saturday morning in Modesto and then an autobahn race up the 5 across the 12 and into Fairfield just in time to see my two groups of guard kids perform. I made it to Armijo High School with about fifteen minutes to spare getting there just in time to catch up with the Franklin kids in the warm up room, give ‘em a quick pep talk and push them into the gym … literally. As soon as they were through performing I reran (ran being the operative word) that same circuit with the Woodcreek kids and THEN said goodbye to the Frankies and hustled over to Fairfield to do it all again with the Woodies. Both groups represented themselves well. The Franklin kids let their butterflies go to their head a bit and took 7th while the Woodies did far better than I thought they would and took 2nd … at both shows. There’s work to do but it’s an auspicious start. My good buddy Stu came to Frankie rehearsals with me this week and wrote some super-duper swing flag phrases that I think will help the Frankies rock the house. Both groups have shows again this weekend in Elk Grove …. I predict the Woodies will place lower (but hope desperately that I’m wrong) and Franklin will place higher (and hope desperately that I’m right) … putting away my colorguard crystal ball … for now. Sunday I allowed myself a bit of retail therapy followed by lunch and drinks with some fellow guard geeks and ended the day by having dinner with my son and his girlfriend. All in all, a recuperative and badly needed day off. This weekend while the kids are performing at Elk Grove I’ll be judging at Vallejo. After all the ballyhoo on World of Pageantry this week the NCBA judging panels for both the Elk Grove and Vallejo shows have been doing a lot of conversing about their thoughts and views on the various shows. I think conversation helps. Sometimes you find things out that escaped your view by talking to others and you get one of those light bulb moments if you know what I mean. I haven’t had one yet about the upcoming shows but there’s hope for the future.

Speaking of hope for the future. I’m a single girl now. Unofficially single sure, but single in my heart where it matters most. Now that I know with a certainty that’s the path my life is on, I’m free to plan, free to do, free to go on, free to commit or indulge myself, and simply free to be me. While I haven’t graduated to the point where it feels good to be single, I know that I will and I look forward to that. I’m regretful for the wasted time but I’m also thankful for the wonderful moments that have been sprinkled over the vast wasteland that has been the past few years of my marriage and for the lessons I have learned. Sometimes people damage and disappoint you. Sometimes they amaze you. Sometimes you give of yourself to people who don’t deserve or appreciate it …and sometimes you have moments of clarity in which you realize you can’t fix someone else no matter how hard you try and you need to focus on fixing yourself. I hate that I’ve failed a second time at marriage. Maybe one day I’ll just have to admit that choosing partners is not something I’m good at. Sigh. In the meantime, a clear, blue horizon lies ahead and I have every intention of enjoying the discoveries yet to be made.

Highlights ...

The Frog has four new tires and I think they actually make him taller, prouder and greener?

The bank account now has four digits

I cruised midtown at lunch yesterday, looked at a couple of places and now have a better idea of what my lifestyle there would be like -- thinking about it seriously

In the Meantime ...

Give a shout out to God on my behalf and ask him to keep his wild and crazy sense of humor in check for awhile.



:)

Push, Pull .... Collapse

I said good bye to my very best friend in the world today.

Heartbreakingly we just couldn't find the reset button this time.

This is for him.



Hearts of fire creates love desire
Take you high and higher to the world you belong
Hearts of fire creates love desire
High and higher to your place on the throne

Weve come together on this special day
To sing our message loud and clear
Looking back weve touched on sorrowful days
Future pass, they disappear

You will find peace of mind
If you look way down in your heart and soul
Dont hesitate cause the world seems cold
Stay young at heart cause youre never (never, never, ..) old at heart

Thats the way of the world
Plant your flower and you grow a pearl
A child is born with a heart of gold
The way of the world makes his heart grow cold



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YES, I am THAT old ...

A friend sent me this picture of the 1977 CCGC instructor's colorguard performing their version of "The Sorceror's Apprentice" (a spoof on other colorguards) at Western Regionals.

Don't hurt yourself .... I'm the one fourth from the right in the very back row. In the tradition of "Where's Waldo" ... find Stanley Knaub, Kathy Whitcomb and Tom Andrews.

It's hard to believe we were EVER that young ... or thin!!!

I hate commuter traffic ...

It’s such an exercise in futility. As I look at the cars stuck on the other side of the freeway as well as the ones stuck on mine I often wonder that we don’t just call a meeting in an arena somewhere, network and trade jobs … or houses … and avoid the whole thing by all being ten minutes from work.

This morning I sat at a dead stop on the freeway squinting into the sun, for what felt like an eternity, frustrated by the fabulous illusion that all the lanes but mine were moving. My baser, primal instincts began to surface and I experienced a brief but vivid kinship with cheetahs and lions and tigers (oh my) as I realized I was actually scouting the faster moving lane next to me like a predator looking for the weak zebra, ya’ know, the old one, the young one, the one with the lame leg, the one putting on their make up instead of paying attention to the road, the one reading the newspaper, the one that doesn’t know how to drive a stick ... so I could savagely cut them from the herd by ducking in front of them into their lane and leave them in my exhaust fumes. I finally spotted that zebra and zoomed in front of it with the speed of a cheetah (albeit a little green metal one) and as I sped past no less than 30 cars before zipping over and onto to the exit I felt the same rush of adrenalin a cheetah likely feels at the instant it sinks it’s teeth into prey and begins to chow down. At least the cheetah doesn't need to wait for his check so he can eat.

Just another day in the concrete jungle!

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Toodling right along ...

Well February is almost half over and since I’ve yet to hear a train whistle I’m guessing the light at the end of the tunnel really is just a light. For the most part, the things that are truly occupying my brain (and my heart) just aren’t to be shared in a blog. So a bit of silent running as I pull a stealthy Steve Austin and “rebuild” myself … “only better”.

Colorguard has been sucking up the majority of my life. I’ve got the two winterguard programs (the Woodies and the Frankies) and am doing a bit of consulting for another (the Elkies) and what with all this teaching and judging I haven’t had a minute to really stop and think … yet. Things will stay pretty busy til 4/1 when reality will finally have a shot at permeating my ultra-strong colorguard defensive shields but by then I’ll be in a financial position to focus on nest building and other things to distract me. Shields down? Whee!

The Woodies are going to be okay as a novice guard. The important thing is that they’re having a good experience. The Frankies are an uphill battle and I don’t yet know what the forecast is for that. At this point we’ll be lucky to make it to the floor at all this season. The kids have heart though, and desire, and while that’s about all they have it’s what has me hanging on by my fingernails. Today being a holiday means yet ANOTHER Frankie rehearsal had to be cancelled. Sigh. Even so, I think we can have a rudimentary show on the floor by 3/3 if nothing else happens … which, well, of course it probably will.

At last Friday night's Fresno show I judged GE for the first time EVER and I was really intimidated going into it (heck seeing my name listed with the rest of that panel was pretty intimidating on it's own) but once we got rolling I was okay. Judging GE is a lot like just watching the show because nearly everything is within your caption. I wasn’t sure the words would come but they did … number wise I didn’t always line up with everyone but happily I was in the ballpark and yesterday morning I received a thumbs up for my tapes … so I’m happy. My next show is Monte Vista on 2/24 (equipment) and things get even more hectic after that. With upcoming NCBA, CCGC and Fresno shows plus kid performances there’s something every Saturday and most Sundays between now and 4/1.

On Sunday I attended the annual PCJA clinic and dinner and, while I’d been dreading attending, I ended up having a really good time and I’m glad that I went. I’ve wanted to be a PCJA judge since I was a kid and last night when they gave me my “official” polo shirt I’ll admit to being a little verklempt. Stupid? I'm sure it is to some … but for me it was a memorable moment. As I sat through the remainder of the meeting, I couldn’t help but reflect on those who had been there before me and I was proud to now be a part of that.

Highlights …
I’ve put 3000+ miles on The Frog and he’s holding up so far but still needs new tires and a tune up (and don’t we all) -- the Sacramento house is a done deal except for the certain arrival of the little black cloud that includes the legal aspects -- I got an unexpected and welcome raise last Friday -- I’ve unwittingly dropped so much oil in my neighbor’s driveway that I’ve lost custody of my super cool parking space -- Stu gave me rugs for my room now so my feet don’t freeze (little things DO count) -- I miss my cat Motown an awful lot --
last night I had a dream that my armpits were as hairy as a orangutan’s no matter how much I shaved them????? -- someone nice put my clothes in the dryer for me this morning -- so life is good as long as I don’t think about it too hard.

My weekend plans are up in the air. As of now I have an entire 3-day weekend with NOTHING to do. Knowing that’s impossible, I’m waiting to see what develops and if nothing does … then it’s Miller time!!!!! Sorta’ like Hammer time but not exactly … although I may dance like Hammer after a few beers (my kingdom for a pair of parachute pants).

Later Gators!

My January Mantra ...

For the record ... this is a gnome ... not a nome.

Focus on February … nome … Focus on February … om nome … Focus on February … nome … Focus on February … om nome …

Many weird and wild things have happened in the last few weeks of January. The other day someone changed my internet banking password and cost me 90 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back fixing it on the phone with the bank – fortunately no money was missing. Last week someone changed my phone’s voicemail password and erased all my voicemail messages – costing me a mere 30 minutes of my life but causing much hair pulling dealing with the double digit IQ of the Metro CSRs. Cuz isn’t it fun when you know more about a company’s processes than its’ own employees do? Two weeks ago, I got home from the Homestead show around 2:30 a.m. and discovered that sometime during the evening someone moved/pushed the Little Frog from the curb where I had it parked in front of the house into the middle of an intersection, tossed the contents of the car (but took nothing) and damn near scratched off my 2007 tags. Sigh. Focus on February … nome.

Also weird are my new glasses – progressive lenses. The new glasses have abated the Mr. Magoo driver in me --- good thing too because I nearly drove over a cement divider and a stop sign the other day in Roseville -- but these glasses are so hard to use that I think I’m going to have to return them. I used them for the first time the other night at a guard show and I had to keep turning my head side to side and up and down so I could see the guards through the different sections of the lenses – I’m sure I looked like a big bird bobbing it’s head up and down up there in box. Sheesh! I’m thinking I’ll trade for two separate pair – one for distance, one for reading and that should fix it. Bette Davis was right – getting old ain’t for wimps. Focus on February … om nome.

Even more fun is that I’m getting evicted from a place where I no longer live. I expect it to lighten my bank account by about 6 grand before all is said and done. If you’ve ever been through an eviction you know what I mean. Funny thing is … I’m super okay with that … I don’t care … it’s a relief. Focus on February … nome.

So every week I try to take care of some new piece of business. First it was catching up on paying friends back who helped me bail on a moment’s notice … much love to Stu. Second it was getting glasses so I don’t roll the Frog into a ditch or make some unwitting Rosevillian The Frog’s new hood ornament and getting TB tested and fingerprinted both for schools and for the Secretary of State to give me my Notary commission. Next is getting into my storage and getting some sorely needed items that, in my haste, I forgot to bring with me. Beyond that … focus on February … om nome.

Today is the LAST day of January and February is finally HERE.

NOME!!!!